Laughs Out Loud

he says he loves me. he also says tht i m very rude to him and consider him as an amusement instrument.
i dont knw if its true. thr is onething i m pretty sure abt, he is nt the one fr me. still LOVE spendin time vid him. i dont realize how time flies when i m vid him. we can to each other for 6 hrs straight and still dont feel bored. we talk sense, nonsense, logic, crap, abt religion, abt porn movies everythg. i can tell him everythg vidout any hesitation.

i feel the most important girl in the world when i m with him.

i can feel myself when i m with him. i dont have to pretend to be intelligent or attractive when i m with him. i m just myself when he is around. i can tell him very easily tht i hv never smoked but do wanna do tht once. we can go for a cozy feel good dinner and after tht i actually ask him to buy me a cigarrete. he does tht and then happens my first encounter with an almost 2 inches stick which i throw away jz after one puff. he keeps admiring me-coughing and going crazy -coz of the smoke in my lungs. he laughs at me and says '' i always tell u na ....u are a kid''
i knw its jz a fad. its not love but he is someone who sweeps me off my feet .
i have said no, but still we are together. m i actually playing with his emotions?
i dont knw. and i dont care as long as i m happy with the way things are going.

Ohhh.....!!!! MBA ....its an amazing course. its been jz 6 months here and i m a changed person. the course is defined so well tht it brings the true u outta u. u come to knw wht u like and wht u hate.
u come across 100s of people who totally r different frm u in some way or the other. u have grp activities, assignments, projects, and presentations. u see the people in ur grp are gud fr nothing. all of u think in different directions and they never understand wht u r trying to say. u hate them. u keep cursing them and the professors who selected u to be a team. still u try to be sweet and lovely to them jz to make sure tht they dont runaway. u arrange meetings and they never show up. they always keep giving excuses fr late comings and u put all the blame on them for poor performances (if any) and try to boast abt everythg that goes well.

huhh...finally i m learnin to work in a grp ...as a team member...!!!!

i srsly hv no clue whts with me. i keep thinking abt tht one single thing 24x7. i knw my priorities. i knw wht do i want . i knw how i m goin to achieve it. bt then why m i facing so many problems in focusing on my aim??
first trimester results are out and i hv done pretty well. but still, i hv a lot of scope to excell. gettin good grades is nt enuff in a b-school. wht is important is learning ( i think thts my fave word after LOL).and i think i m getting distracted from my goal of learnin smthg frm every second spent in this insti.

But then , i think thts life. learning is, after all, not only related to studies. learning from real life relationships is smthg thts gonna make me more mature n mellow me down( yeah i srsly believe tht i m really immature in comparison to these ppl). managing people is one competency tht a manager ought to have. being thousands of miles away frm ur home, with different ppl frm different places n different ( read shocking ) attitudes teaches u smthg every moment. all u need to do is be attentive and aware of whts happening around u.
ppl r playing mindgames everywhr and my task is to observe them, most preferably without being a part of them.

The word ''friend''....ohh...it is a magical word. i never knew it can be so much fun to be a part of a grp of 9 ppl. i hv always been in a peer grp of not more than 4 ppl( thts the way i m ). we chat, we study, we fight, we watch movies, we gossip, we discuss problems n likes n dislikes, boyfriends n girlfriends n most of the times keep clicking photographs, SMSing and teasing everyone with each other. gossiping abt the dean n the president and THE MALLU COMMUNITY of our institute, Cursing the mess food n fuming n frettin abt the presentations next morning when its 2 a.m. already.
but hey if u guys thinkin tht its all about fun then ...oops baby u r absolutelyt WRONG...as thr can be some serious side affects as well.
lol...lemme explain this to u with the help of an example. i will take the recent one. i m friends with a lot of ppl in my insti....oh ...n i never knew tht being friends with everyone can give birth to such a serious issues, esp on instances like ur BIRTHDAY. i wanted to invite only 8 out of 21 on the very day . i had decided to throw a separate party fr everyone else a day after. bt it caused some serious issues and ...lol...as a result , i m still sorting out the matters.
but , neways, its fun to fight with ppl on such petty issues( yeah..yeah..i can be a bit inhuman at times), atleast it lets u knw tht thr r so many ppl expecting smthg frm u as a fren.

okies okies......i m back to b'lore after my 10 days holidaysss...ohhh it ws so amazing being at home. amazing food ...moma daddy ...sis aahhhh....n tht ws fr the first time i realised tht life is simple at home. i dont hv to get up early in the morning, no restrictrions fr food timings, dont hv to run to the MDP block fr classes, no need to wear formals everyday, no need to read newspapers...u can speak whtvr u feel like without even thinkin tht this person might tell that to everyone.
no warden, no President, no Director adn no Dean. no exams n ...lol...no results. no ppt ..no quizzes.

but ...then ....on the other hand, .....at home there are no friends, no late nites, no freshers' parties, no music concerts, no events, no competition( i cant imagine ,my life without CGPAs nemore), no fun with seniors and not tht much freedom. ( lol...i remember ....how i hd gone to the commercial street, which is like ''FAR FAR AWAY'' frm our hostel ,all on my own without even knowing any roads or nethg in Bangalore).

i think i love this place ....the feeling of being responsible fr urself gives me amazing happiness. feeling of being accountable to each n every act i do makes me feel like a grown up ...smthg tht i never feel when i m home with my family whr they still treat me as a 16 year old kid. ( in case u dont knw ..i hv jz turned 21 on this 12th of october....!!!)

hmmm...so i think life is good.....

We were having our IT class. it ws a theory class and the prof had asked us to come prepared coz he wanted to assess our level of class participation. well...i ws all set.
he enters........turns on his lappy...so do we...shoots his first Q.

me raises her hand , he signals n me starts speaking........

and....

all of sudden he stopped me and said...

''listen, first of all, dont ever speak untill and unless u r asked to''

F***

i realized tht he wasnt signalling me. infact , he ws asking the question to the guy sitting rt behind me.

i ws shocked how cud he talk to a 20 yr old gal like tht. i m a big gal after all.
i ws feeling so embarrased tht i cud nt speak nethg else in the first half of the class. bt jz b4 the break....i smhow raised my hand again and this time made it sure tht he was asking me to speak ( unlike last tym) and shot an ACE.

my answer ws so perfect and amazingly superb tht he cudnt stop praising me fr it . the whole class ws clapping and he ws amazed. he ws so impressed tht he cudnt stop taking my name in every 5 mins in the second half of the class.

i srsly dunno y m i writing it here...prolly coz....the way he had insulted me in front of the entire class had never happened to me b4.

neways...thts it.

isn't it amazing...!!!

i ws dying fr this moment. i ws actually having coffee with the guy whom i find the best( in all respect) in our entire college. we were together....having coffee. well.. actually i hd ordered fr milk and he first had a tea, then a coffee and then a again a tea.

and to my surprise he wasnt speaking much. ws jz listening to us and smiling n laughing wherever it ws totally unavoidable to hv a long face. i wondered whts his problem. i asked our common fren if he ever speaks nethg. even then he dint reply . damn...oh i ws so shocked. height of arrogance. neways we stayed thr fr like an hr and he spoke like 10 sentences...which is , i think , a record. ohhh

ohhh...silly guy.....

but he made me realize tht i hv had some really wonderful coffees in my life . i never knew tht smthg like this cud be so boring . all three of us were actually doing nothing but gazing into our cups. lol.....thanx dude thanx..i 'd rembr this fr another two three yrs.

hey ppl ..i m back......( yeah rite they were dying without me....)


well...this new plc is kewl ..i find thgs really hepp here. ppl r nice ( really..????...**raises eyebrow** ) hv made a few frens...i wish i cud say GOOD frenz instead of FRENZ....
nvrmind.......


they call me Titli..lol.....which is really funny bt i love this new name fr me...

jz felt like writing ......

buhbye.....

Ummm….well…leaving fr the hostel tonite.

( long long pause)

I will be leaving fr the airport just after 7 hrs. and look at me . my bags arnt packed , I hvnt taken bath , hvnt got the copies of my passport size pics..and literally hv done nothing.
I don’t knw how exactly I m feeling. Lol….so many thgs r yet to be done n wht m I doin??? …talkin to my laptop.

I hv always been a spoilt brat. Don’t even take my dishes to kicthen after having dinner ( always get scolded fr tht). Hvnt even moved a spoon in my home. My sis , mom n dad take care of everythg. Lol..even today my sis n mom r packing my bags , washing n ironing my clothes. I dunno how to cook, how to wash clothes n how to iron them. Wht m I gonna do ??

Lol…they say they r sending me to a rehab centre.

I love them.

I hv been working very slowly since last nite. Procrastinating thgs. feeling drowsy …I m jz doin nothing but just ordering n commanding everyone like nethg…
‘ yeh kar do , woh kar do , yeh rakh woh rakh do.’

I m finding myself behaving mysteriously. My body is craving fr carbohydrates n sugar. Thnx to which I hv eaten two mangoes since last nite. Real fruit juice hs come to my rescue. And after every half an hr I m shouting ‘ mujhe bhookh lagi hai’

Mom feels helpless n sighs ‘ hey bhagwaan !!!’

Ohhhh…I m gonna miss them …

Well...i always wanted to write abt it .. abt ....wht kinda person i m ?

i put in a lot of efforts to befreind ppl ...even those who are not so important to me. ppl who are of no use to me , ppl who are no more than mere acquaintance to me . but i talk to them as if they were my best friends of all times. the girl who is supposedly my best friend is nt that important to me. i dont love her. but yeah prolly talk to her coz i need some one to talk to n with whom i can share my feelings. even when i hv known ppl fr more than 3-4 months i dont accept them as my true friends.
i dunno why am i like this .
wherever i m ..i bring life to tht place ( ooohhhh i love it) ....ppl give me importance...they like to with me but at the same time ..i feel isolated. i feel bored . i feel alone. as if i were the only girl in this world who doesnt have any friend. i m always searching fr someone who cud understand me n accept me the way i m . with whom i dont need to pretend nethg.

i find it weird but i dont give importance to ppl who r close to me and r always available to me. instead, i try follow thgs tht r outta my reach. thgs tht dont make any sense to me but are kewl acc. to many othr ppl. to cut the long story short ....i always try to reach the next level ....and hence lose out all the fun of being at the present level. i am never happy n satisfiied with whtvr i get. lol...thr is jz a lil example. when i hd joined orkut ..i dint hv many frenz. so i ws always trying to rope in others in some way or the other . and today, when i hv many many frenz ...i use a fake id ( whr i dont hv even a single fren) to check my scraps. coz i dont want ppl to bug me whenever i sign in.
lol....lol....n to my surprise ....today ,after so many days, when i logged on to my original a/c , not many ppl responded to me . i ws annoyed like nethg. now, wht the hell do i want.

i chat with my college frenz nt coz they r my frenz ...but jz coz they r my batchmates n i wanna be in touch with everyone ( coz i enjoy being popular).

but thts jz one side of the coin. on the other hand, in the virtual world...i talk to ppl coz i love them. with them i m always natural. i always behave , talk n say thgs tht i want to . i love them prolly coz i dont hv to impress them . they can serve no purpose to me ...but can always listen to me . thr r no cmmitments and no liabilities.

is it coz i m damn insecure abt thgs . why i dont love thgs tht r jz fr me. why m i nt happy with the ppl who r mine. why m i always running after things tht r GENERALLY considered good. cant i create my own niche. y is it always so important to me to be a part of this rat race?

do i suffer frm commitment phobia...??

am i getting addicted?

I remember how I wished to get rid frm exams, tests and everythg which involved study . how I ws longing to have gr8, long and fun vacations , tht lasted fr two-three months. But look at me now . man is a weird species. He is never happy and satisfied with wht he gets. Atleast I hv realised tht I m never happy with nethg. Whtvr I get I want more and better of it. Always in search of smthg or the other .
These vacations hv spoiled me completely . I hv got nothing much to look forward to . hv got nothing much to do but to allow myself to succumb to boredomHv slipped into a liesure mode whr I do nothing but silly idiotic things. . Thr is no motivation. Most shockingly I feel my passion and undying love fr books is dying. Tried a lot to save it but all in vain. Started many books bt cud nt finish with most them. I find everythg boring. My attitude towards everythg hs changed. Evils like procrastination and arrogance hv found a room in me. At one momenti m livng in the wonderland and in another second I m crying & kicking and cursing holidays. Its nt tht I hv got no aims and no goal..but I don’t find myself willing to do nethg in tht direction. Thr is simply no motivation. I m one of those ppl who always draw inspiration n motivation frm external sources and I hv failed to find nethg as such in recent times. To my surprise I m writing nothing f rmy blog. Its very seldom I visit my blog. Again thts coz of fewer number visitors. Many important thgs have happened. Esp some missions are accomplished tht I hd set yrs ago. but now don’t feel like putting them down in writing. God..

I cant wait fr the classes to get started.

LOL..

Gosh ..i cant believe it. could never realize b4 tht in my 20 yrs of life i have never seen asli ki fair n lovely creame.

a cousin of mine is getting married( its an arranged marriage ). her mom called up my mom to talk abt smthg very serious ( as she told me on the phone). after sometym i asked my mom if everythg was alrite thr ...she nodded and said tht the bride's mom in going crazy these days...asusual. as the bride has gt nothing to do but her beauty care. reason...well...her wud be has told her to use fair n lovely , coz its a question of his pride to bring a beautiful n lovely wife. he feels inferior to his friends jz coz thr wives are comparitively more fair .

the guy himself looks ..ummm..ok-ok types. And my cousin says he loves her but the only thg he wants is a wife who is comparitively more fair than his frenz' wives.

the big fat indian weddings .

i cud never decide if i wanna do an arrange marriage or a love marriage. coz i hv always believed tht one cant really plan such thgs. but ...after seeing my cousin and her family going through all these wonderful experiences...thr is smthg tht has made me think abt it.

i love u ....i knw tht u knw tht.

its mother's day, n i feel really silly to choose this day to write abt u. but ..u knw how i m . i find it really difficult to express my feelings fr someone who is very close to me. such days sre smhow meant fr ppl like me .

thanx fr everythg.

i was having lunch with my friends in one of my favourite restuarants. i was seeing them after so many days. i was dying to meet them . n when we were thr ..when it was D moment...i dont knw wht was with me. i wasnt able to concentrate on wht my frenz were talkin abt. i was lost in my own world. we were talkin abt really funny thgs n found it difficult to laugh with them. i was trying hard to pay attention to them . n was looking at watch continously. damn....i dont knw whts wrong with me. i was thinkin n missing smthg thts of no use. totally worthless.
m i going insane?

i cud realize wht was happening around, but i wasnt able to open my eyes. my mind..oh it was workin at 4-5 different levels, simultaneously. i cud hear the voices around me tht was nothin more than cacophony to me. i was alive but still in a different world. i tried hard but cudnt open my eyes. my head was spining. i tried to get up but was unable to move even my finger. i wanted to speak but wasnt sure if i was actually speaking or tht was just in my mind. i was having deja vu and was in the real world at the same time. my head was spinning n i was having a feeling of being in four five different worlds at the altogether. the feelin was amazing . i wanted to be in tht moment . just like tht . it was more delightful than nethg else.
lol..it was nothing else but anaesthesia .....

now i knw y do ppl fall fr addiction causing drugs.

thank u .. u hv played quite an important role in my life ( okay ....by life i mean last 6-7 months). besides dominating my thought thr r many othr thgs tht u hv done fr me. u introduced me to a totally different world. a wolrd whr i hd no identity. a world tht gave me a whole new different life. i was going mad. i was on a verge of losing all sanity. ...thr came november ( sweet novemeber) n along came u. u changed the way i used to think. u made me dream big. u made me realize tht big thgs can happen. u made me fall in love. u made me regain my self confidence n hence my life. i had lost hope n fun . the sense of humour tht ppl love today was long lost. i was so diff, reserved, conservative n innocent. but u showed me the real n today's world.

i m sorry tht i cud never return u wht u deserved. my introvert nature left me all alone. i never told u wht place u had in my life . infact always tried to hide it frm u . i knw we cud hv smthg even more special . but .....neways its all part of my past now.


LOL..But its a small world. n m lookin forward to take our relationship to the next level.

Lolz…

My cousin was here frm kolkata. He has just completed his MBA and is goin to join soon. We had clicked some fab pics frm his mobile. Lol…I had nokia pc suite installed in my laptop. So we decided to upload the pics to my laptop. God ..i don’t knw wht he( my cousin) did with tht. All his pics got uploaded to my pc. His contacts , his private messages, private pics..just each n everythg. Oh …damn…everythg. He was so tensed and scared and I could not help laughing. And all of a sudden I realised tht wht if some of my files were got downloaded to his cell.
Omg….tht was it . both of us started checking each others devices. I was checking his mobile and he was busy deleting his private files. Neways….after wasting like an hour or so…thgs got back to normal and …we lived happily ever after.
LOL…

Lol….i always used to think tht I m a very girly girly girl. But , no , I was so wrong. I dint have any idea tht to wht extent girls can go to look beautiful and lean and thin and sexy and sweet and ..oh my God….. wht not.

I was all set to join the swimming classes. I had even gone to the club to register my name for tht and everythg was goin just perfect. Then I don’t knw wht went wrong to me and I told abt my plans to one of my frenz called Neha. And she went hysterical the moment she came to knw all tht.
‘ are u crazy…..????? pagal..do u have ne idea wht will happen to ur skin. Sun-tan toh hatega bhi nahin..’
‘really…????’
‘nahin toh kya’
‘hmm…right yaar. Maine toh socha hi nahin tha.’
‘I wud love to join u thr..but srsly Chirag (her boyfriend) would never allow me to do tht. see, I hv put on some weight and I cant afford to look tanned now. No ways.’
‘Arre nahin..even I won’t join. I find music much more safer. I wud go for tht, for sure.’

Lol…

Lol……

‘hey bhagwaan ..!! yeh kya kar liya ? do u have any idea how bad is tht looking? ’ mom said when she saw my newly highlighted hair. Oh I was so excited abt my hair color. And believe me moment she said tht….no no… if u r thinking tht it ruined my spirit ..then u r wrong…the moment she said tht …I could not help but laugh. She was behaving like a typical mom (for a change). My mom is really KEWL (cool). I still remember tht when I was in school and wanted to buy salwar kameez like all of my frenz, how she had bluntly refused saying ‘ abhi se aunty ban jao. U have ur entire life to wrap urself in such things called sarees and salwar kameez.’ Lol….hmmm..i had to follow her and as a result even today I cant manage( carry off) my dupatta properly whenever I dress in such outfits.

Neways …back to my newly highlighted hair. Well…it had been two yrs since i have highlighted my hair last time. Last time it was burgundy , which is quite suitable to indian skin. But ..ha ha..this time its different. Mom was looking really worried as she kept reiterating ‘achhe khaase baalon ki raid peet di ’ . oh! I love her.

And if u r thinking wht my dad had to say , lemme tell u this. My dad is another kewl personality. He dint even react to it. Not even fr once. Yeah and after 4 days ..while the two of us were just talking casually and I was telling him abt my stupid friend’s story , all of a sudden he said ‘ummm…by the way, mujhe tera yeh hair color achha nahin laga.’’ ..ha ha ha …and another session of laughter followed.

And then I met Rahul, one of my very close frenz. U shud have seen the way he reacted. He cud not look into my eyes directly. His eyes were giving one of the best example of to-and-fro motion. 1 second in my eyes and 3 seconds at my hair. Lol…it was fun.

But to tell u the truth, I like my hair. I really don’t care if looks good or bad .this was wht I wanted to do. I did smthg whr my heart was. And it feels gr8.

lol....
here i go.....

why i have not been posting blogs as often as i used to do before. well...the biggest reason wasnt the one tht i have mentioned in my previous blog( i.e. lack of time). infact, i was feeling ..uummmm..i dont knw. all of a sudden i had started to feel a bit weird. a bit weird abt discussing my personal life here. i felt as if i was asking fr people's suggestions. ...i felt...as if i m disclosing my 'personal' thoughts to everyone. as if i was divulging each n everthg abt myself tht is supposed to be 'personal'.

that was the biggest reason why i started writing abt cricket and celebs ( omG..i cant help but wonder wht made me do tht) ...

...( ok..u can continue reading if u still have interest to knw abt my silly thoughts)....

but tonite...i was just searching fr some info about smthg..( lol...look at the way i m writing..i m still not being honest to my blog n its readers..but i m sure it wud come with time and experience). yeah so i was searching fr this thg on google and ran into an amazing blog...oh..!!!! it was lovely ...i just loved it. it actually made me laugh out loud....and it was then tht i realized tht wht was i doin. no, i cant spoil my blog by writing abt celebs n cricket. puuhhleezz no..not ne more. not ne longer. i dont knw if this feeling is momentary or not but ..i feel like a bit relaxed .

LOL
After so many days I have succeeded in convincing myself to sit down n type. Since I havnt posted nethg fr last few days I think it will be better to give u a glimpse of wht did I do in these days. Thts y I m copying down some pages frm my personal diary here. I hope tht wud help in maintaining the coherency of events. So here I go...


24th march,o7

Well…well..well..well…Eeggzams are over. Believe me papers were just fab. And now I have full three months before me . hmmmm….Just wondering wht to do in holidays.
I have 4 options :
Join
a) swimming classes
b) music classes(vocal)
c) three job offers
d) welll…..this one is the most tempting one….doing nothing but just chill.

As usual I m never satisfied with one thg. So I think I will be going fr option (b) and (c).
lets see how it goes.

25thmarch,o7

lol…
Met my future batchmates at pagalguy.com. For those who hvnt understood , lemme clarify, I will be persuing my masters degree soon , the sessions for which will be starting frm june last week and pagalguy is a site fr crazy ppl who r burning thr nite lamp’s oil preparing for tht. I found people thr who will be in the same batch. Lolz..it was fun. All of us have joined the community of our batch at orkut and most of us have now been talking on orkut/ yahoo msngr/ gtalk. Some of them are kewl , while some are total crazy and others are very very formal. All of a sudden places like orkut, yahoo msngretc. Have become so formal tht I try and login in such late hrs when thr is less chances of ppl to be online . I knw this is crazy, but I feel tht way ……I don’t know y.


26th march,o7

lol…
Went to my first music class ever. Learning smthg abt classical music had always been a fantasy fr me since my very childhood. Never got a chance to turn this dream into reality though. Today was THE DAY. It was awesome. Amazing and I just cud nt stop smiling. I was feeling ecstatic. I realized tht this is wht I love v v much.

I wasn’t performing very well , but thts ok..who cares I joined these classes to learn. Ha ha ha ha ..need to write this tht my family members r now having headache 24x7. and thr fave line has become …ab toh chup ho ja na yaar ( cmon just stop it now gal).


28th march, o7

Amazing…

I was wrong when I was thinking tht music is the only thg tht cud make me happy.

It was my first day in the bank and was just amazing. I m lovin’ it.

Life is beautiful.

I did not know that I would have to do a blog post on cricket again so soon.

Pakistan’s cricket coach Bob Woolmer passed away last night under lots of pressure. His team had lost to Ireland a day before yesterday and as a result they could not qualify for the next round of the world cup 2007. Needless to say , the scenario in Pakistan for cricket is not much different from India , where cricket is considered as a religion. Coach Woolmer had to face severe criticism by Pakistani media, ex cricketers and thousands of cricket fans. Also , sources have reported that he wasn’t having very congenial relationships with his team’s players. Not even professionally, let alone personal relationships. And the recent failure was a big big shock to all of them.

Everybody is dying to know what was the root cause of his death. The much awaited autopsy report is yet to be issued to the media.

But his sudden demise has raised a lot of questions. The question I want an answer to is - who is going to take up the job next.

It’s a blot on pak’s cricket history. Infact not only on pak’s but on the history of international cricket. Such a hype is created about such international events that people generally forget that this is just a game. And someone’s life is much more important than these petty victories and defeats, for sure.
I would like to say that taking the team under control and accepting the coach’s post is definitely going to be HEROIC and HERCULEAN act. Hats off to that guy in advance.

Each n every guy of the nation ( I mean except for some lukhkhas who thought they had got more important job to do than watching india palying its openeing match at the WORLD CUP 2007)……

Each n every guy is holding his breath …watching mesmerising Mandira Bedi uttering some illogical cricketing logic..( I don’t blame her..atleast she knows more than wht I knw abt cricket..ha ha ha ..atleast I think so…but srsly hats off to her for going palces in this men’s territory.)…okay okay….whr were we…

Yup…

Everybody is just ready to watch the match ..planning a perfect weekend ahead..but..lol…plane crashes..dreams get washed off without coming true…

Poor performance by the batsmen coupled with shocking lack of confidence. All the enthusiasm is gone n energy level goes done to –ves.
Wht happened? Wht went wrong?

Well. I believe thr is a very thin line between confindence n over confidence. And I fail to decide whether it was our lack of confidence or over confidence while making strategy against Bangladesh. One more thing tht I could not understand. And thts…. y sourav ganguly was applaused ? this person was thr on the pitch for the longest time. He knew he was palying well , he knew he was in form . y didnt he perform? Infact he was doing nothing but just safeguarding his wicket. Well… the reason cud be tht he didn’t get proper support frm the batsmen at the other end ….but then u cant be a matchwinner just like tht. Can u?

Neways..all dreams n excitement was vanished. Mandira wasn’t soooo awesome anylonger and the weekend bash was pathetic. But hey …success can be considered relative smtms. Pakistan are out of WC 07 ..LOL..they lost to Ireland. And though my knowledge of cricket is limited but yeah I knw tht ireland is a debutant team n bangladesh stands smwhr ahead Ireland. So..guys don’t lose hope is the moral of the story. And I m sure all of u will be thr in front of ur tv sets tomoroow 5:00 pm holding ur breath n watching mandira..all again.

LOL....

lol...lol..lol

ha ha ha ha ha.....

he he he he ....

hi hi hi hi ...

ha ha ha ha .....

lol..lol...lol....lol......

I really wanna start this post too with LOL..as I always do. But I m just not able to convince myself for writing tht. I don’t wanna lie to the readers of my blog. That is y I wont lie abt my current status of mood by writing LOL.

Ummm..ok so here I go..

Three most important thgs in my life at this point of time are:

a) university exams
b) abt him
c) the third thg

well..to tell u the truth abt the university exmas..lol…I m doing gr8 ..its amazing. Even I wonder how ? so basically, I m happy at this front.

now abt tht guy. God..i don’t knw y this is happening. I don’t knw y he is behaving this way. I don’t knw y he is doing all tht. And I m completely helpless. I cant do nethg abt it. We havnt talked for last 10 days. I m clueless abt whts going on in his mind. C , dint I tell u he is silly.

And now the third thg. Well…hmmmmm…it is more important than nethg else.much much more important than tht guy. This is onethg tht I have been wanting for last three long years. My each n every effort have been in this direction only. I don’t have words to explain how important it is to me and how badly I want it. Here again , I m totally helpless. I have done whatever I could do . now all I have to do and all I can do is to just wait n watch. I don’t care if tht guy doesn’t come back to me ..( I do , I do) but this is one thing without which I don’t think I will be able to survive.

I donno whr my life is going to?
But me not a stupid gal. I m not gonna think abt the things I cant do nethg abt. So I m just gonna chill out n study hard. C ya .LOL...

I just read in a newspaper tht britney spears tried to hang herself to commit suicide.
She has been admitted in a rehab centre after she shaved her head . A source said tht she wrote 666 on her bald head and ran everywhr in the centre shouting n screaming tht she was antiChrist n a fake.
He also reported tht she is finding desperately in love with her ex Kevin Federline . She keeps talking to him on phone for hrs trying to convince him to come back in her life . Infact she is even planning to have another baby with him.

I have always believed tht love makes u vulnerable. Britney is just another example. She achieved each n every thg tht she wanted in a very young age. Perhaps wht she could not find was true love n more important than nethg else LOYALTY.

Everyone dreams of being rich n famous. To some of us it is our ultimate goal. But when u achieve wht u have always dreamed of u need someone with whom u can share tht feeling n tht happiness. U need to experience tht satisfaction of with someone u really care for. Someone who is truely urs . someone who belongs to u . who loves u for wht u r .

As they say The view from the top is always gr8 but thr can be just one winner.

The choice is urs, baby.

He is stupd. He is crazy. He is silly. He is idiotic. He is moron. He is insane. He is sweet. He is cute. He is lovable. He is charming. He is sweetheart. He is down to earth . he is…. simply awesome.

A gr8 speaker but an introvert. An average looking guy whose persona is irresistible.

The way he talks to strangers with such friendliness..thats awesome. But the way talks with the ppl he loves is shocking. He is rude. He is egostic. Smtms u may feel offended. But this is coz of his sense of insecurity. Coz the way he feels for u. he finds it difficult to show wht he feels for u. how important u r for him.

He is sharp. He is quick. He is witty. He is decent. He is calm, cool, composed n responsible.

His presence titillates me n I love that. His ignorance irritates me and I love that. His persistence makes me go insane and I love that. His hediousness drives me crazy and I love that.

He is magic. He is sunshine. He is …..wierd. he is lovesick. He is important to me . ummm…yes..more important than any other guy in my life at this point of time.

LOL…u knw wht..? I never read the article once I finish writing .not even to check for spelling n grammatical mistakes. I knw its funny n not justifiable …but that’s the way I m. neways wht else do I do while writing a blog.

TOPIC SELECTION:

Ummm…well..i have this habit of writing my personal diary . and I do that almost daily. whenever I feel that whtvr I have written today is not toooo personal n has got nothing else to do with others , I just pick it up frm my diary n type it in a word document. ( oh its damn tough….just to look into the diary after typing each line n that’s just not my style) . but I m just like those old ppl who just cant think properly while writng. I jst don’t find it saitsfactory.and then I just copy it to my blog.

HEADING OF THE BLOG:

Well…its easy. I just choose nethg that comes to my mind n don’t reaally think abt it. Generally I decide the heading after writing , infact, copying the whole article .


INTRODUCTION:

Hmmm… the toughest part. ( but definitely easier than copying frm diary). LOL…well….i cant describe how difficult I find it to start writing. N can do that when I m in a v calm mood. I mean the first to 2-3- lines ..thats the foundation of the whole article n I guess that’s y some of u find my blogs confusing. But thr is one more reason y u find my writing confusing . well that’s coz I want o write evry thg without divulging nethg abt my identity. But I cant help it.

BODY:

Just like that . it comes in the flow. Never really think abt it.

CONCLUSION:

Hmmm…that’s my fave part. I find it the most beautiful part of my whole blog. Reason..? ummm..coz really lie the way I conclude. I mean not in terms of good writing skills. But whtvr I write in the end …it comes str8 frm my heart..i don’t care nebodu else can understand wht I m trying to say . but feel like expressing like a thousand thgs in that one sentence. And that’s it. This is wht I write for. The height of creative satisfaction. ORGASM…..in context of this thing called writing.

LOL..

LOL…I was thr for an interview. But later on I came to knw that it isnt wort nethg . and I don’t think I will be acceptig thr offer even if they give me a call .

Neways….i ran into this friend of mine thr. We will call him mr.sincere okay. Well….we spent plenty of time thr. It was good . just the two of us and no one else. I knw that this guy likes me. He is mature . Yes much more mature than my silly n crazy friends (and I m no different). Mr. sincere wants a sincere gal ..a mature one.. and lol…and I don’t knw how he finds me grown up. Oh..i m crazy ..i try to act really mature with him.

Its not that I like him or nethg like that . no ..not at all.. as I have metioned this earlier also that a should be able to sweep me off my feet first. And I knw that Mr. Sincere is not the one for me. He is sweet , sexy , smart , and his knowledge is amazing. But thr is just one problem…..and that is ….. I m crazy. And at the same time I want him to like me the way he does forever n ever.

LOL...
i cant believe this has actually happened.
I never gave importance to these things n have actually paid for it.

okay if nebody could decipher this..plz do tell me ...coz even i dont knw wht i m writing.

LOL..i wonder wht do a friend want frm another friend. We often find ppl saying that the basic need of any relationship is understanding n honesty.

I was chatting with a fren of mine ( we will call him XXX) here. I don’t knw wht was with him that day. He was cracking jokes on each n every line I was typing. He told me a joke . but that was really pathetic n not funy at all . I don’t knw wht did I think n just copied n pasted to another fren of mine , just to show him that ppl can be really funny. Soon I realised that wht I have just done was not right smwhr. Though these 2 guys din’t knw each other.

I just told XXX that I have forwarded ur joke two a fren of mine. Oops….big big mistake. He went crazy. He asked me how could I share our conversation with someone else. I cud not come up with nethg else and said SORRY.

He said BYE n signed out.

LOL….its a strange world….and u can find some real AJEEB (strange/wierd ) ppl here. Online chat rooms lets u meet many such ppl..

…I met this guy in a chat room .I never indulge into hot chats ..no it hasgt nothin to do with my morals or ethics ..but thr is smthg dead inside me...i really think that a guy should be like...umm..ok ..i dunno wht....

.neways...…I met this guy in a chat room ..believe me this guy seems like a pro in naughty chat…..he keeps me challenging abt my knowledge or should I say my lack of knowledge abt sex. and in case u ppl r thinking y m i writing abt him then lemme tell u tht he has asked me to do a blog post on him, then only will he post nethg on my blog .And since seeing ppl posting on my blogs is onethg I'd really love to do ..here I go..


Hmmm….so u… the chat guy …SMART ..i must say…

Lol..i m back frm the tour.. ..u wont believe the way I m feeling-so matured..and grown up. and i cant believe I just didn’t miss nebody except this one person. i don’t knw y i m sooooo crazy abt him. He is magic. He is amazing. I don’t y do I like him so much…is it his demeanour or the position he enjoys..???...i knw that the feeling is not mutual. I knw he likes me but not that way. he has thousands of good options. but u knw what ..i don’t care ..i knw all this is temporary…all these feelings r temporary..and I just wanna enjoy every moment of this. it feels gr8. thr r many other guys who r thr for me all the time..but I ‘LIKE’ him… more than tht i feel gr8 to knw tht everythg is normal with me n I CAN LIKE GUYS.

LIFE ROCKS !!!!!.

LOL…amazing…othing good is happening in ma life..i don’t knw whats all this happening.but I don’t knw y I m still feeling okay …and not v v bad. I m changing daily. Okay not changing but yeah growing as a person day by day.life is beautiful n all u need to do is try n c the +ve side of everythg.my trip to these two cities was a complete waste ..but no probs I’ve learnt a lot …A LOT …

LOL…yeah I ve learnt all that by at the cost of rs.50000..wtf.

U knw what …the major learning was that u always keep holding smthg within urself. Shed all those inhibitions. u ve got just one life ….and PLZZZZZ……..just try each n everythg …just don’t think abt ifs n buts..like just go out with a guy u ve never seen before .even if u dont knw much abt him…(lol…but keep all the security measures with u…)…and see LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL…


LOL..LOL….

Welll…so much to write abt…don’t knw whr to start frm? Ummm…Ok…this yr was …ummm …GOD….. I don’t really know what to write abt this yr.(one more try…) ok year 2006 was full of ups n downs for me ( lol….like ne other yr..). yeah but some gr8 things happened n made me realise importance of some most significant things in my life. Cant really go in depth n elaborate coz I don’t wanna divulge a few thgs (actually nethg ) abt maself.
OK I THINK I ‘D BE A GOOD IDEA TO CATEGORIZE IDEAS:

LOVE

It was fun in a way …n …gotta meet some gr8 ppl ..esp. in later half .Though I love the word BEINTIHAAH MOHABBAT , but my lack of enthusiasm towards guys always amazes me …will discuss abt this in some other blog). But in the last month this boy came in mah life n to my relief I was reaaallly attracted towards him. Lolz it lasted for not more than 15 days but to tell u the truth I m feelin gr8.


STUDIES

ummmm…satisfactory - I’d say . topped the twice but couldn’t do really well in the most important xam.. well but that’s ok. But these xams made me really popular among my circle n that’s makes me feel gud. they knw me n recognise me.

SHOPPING


Ok ..this need not be different category for many but ..ha ha …but my love n respect for shopping …is persuading me to this. Welllll…the list is long but I can tell u what I’ve bought maself for the new year’s eve. A long leather coat, awesome stilleto heels, b’ful earings n a mind blowing hand bag .

MISCELLANEOUS


Lolz.... i m writin this blogpost coz I want to post smthg on 31st dec that’s it n since I m feelin too lazy to type all the stuff I would comprise it by saying that this year was somewhat different n fun. have fun n....a very happy new year to everyone.

Hey everybody .

I m going to write my first blog today. Actually the inspiration of writing came from the movie ‘READ IT AND WEEP’ . No no , it’s not that I m going to write smthg really sad to make u all cry , but it’s the story of the movie. The main protaganist in the film is a 12 or smthg girl who is in a habit of writing personal diary.Coincidentally, a page of her diary gets published in her school’s magazine and eventually becomes talk of the town. People love it n whole diary gets published n becomes #1 best seller.So here I begin , in the hope of such gr8 coincidence…….( wow Judith , u r planning each n every step and still calling it a coincidence…. Gr8)