Laughs Out Loud

Ummm….well…leaving fr the hostel tonite.

( long long pause)

I will be leaving fr the airport just after 7 hrs. and look at me . my bags arnt packed , I hvnt taken bath , hvnt got the copies of my passport size pics..and literally hv done nothing.
I don’t knw how exactly I m feeling. Lol….so many thgs r yet to be done n wht m I doin??? …talkin to my laptop.

I hv always been a spoilt brat. Don’t even take my dishes to kicthen after having dinner ( always get scolded fr tht). Hvnt even moved a spoon in my home. My sis , mom n dad take care of everythg. Lol..even today my sis n mom r packing my bags , washing n ironing my clothes. I dunno how to cook, how to wash clothes n how to iron them. Wht m I gonna do ??

Lol…they say they r sending me to a rehab centre.

I love them.

I hv been working very slowly since last nite. Procrastinating thgs. feeling drowsy …I m jz doin nothing but just ordering n commanding everyone like nethg…
‘ yeh kar do , woh kar do , yeh rakh woh rakh do.’

I m finding myself behaving mysteriously. My body is craving fr carbohydrates n sugar. Thnx to which I hv eaten two mangoes since last nite. Real fruit juice hs come to my rescue. And after every half an hr I m shouting ‘ mujhe bhookh lagi hai’

Mom feels helpless n sighs ‘ hey bhagwaan !!!’

Ohhhh…I m gonna miss them …

Well...i always wanted to write abt it .. abt ....wht kinda person i m ?

i put in a lot of efforts to befreind ppl ...even those who are not so important to me. ppl who are of no use to me , ppl who are no more than mere acquaintance to me . but i talk to them as if they were my best friends of all times. the girl who is supposedly my best friend is nt that important to me. i dont love her. but yeah prolly talk to her coz i need some one to talk to n with whom i can share my feelings. even when i hv known ppl fr more than 3-4 months i dont accept them as my true friends.
i dunno why am i like this .
wherever i m ..i bring life to tht place ( ooohhhh i love it) ....ppl give me importance...they like to with me but at the same time ..i feel isolated. i feel bored . i feel alone. as if i were the only girl in this world who doesnt have any friend. i m always searching fr someone who cud understand me n accept me the way i m . with whom i dont need to pretend nethg.

i find it weird but i dont give importance to ppl who r close to me and r always available to me. instead, i try follow thgs tht r outta my reach. thgs tht dont make any sense to me but are kewl acc. to many othr ppl. to cut the long story short ....i always try to reach the next level ....and hence lose out all the fun of being at the present level. i am never happy n satisfiied with whtvr i get. lol...thr is jz a lil example. when i hd joined orkut ..i dint hv many frenz. so i ws always trying to rope in others in some way or the other . and today, when i hv many many frenz ...i use a fake id ( whr i dont hv even a single fren) to check my scraps. coz i dont want ppl to bug me whenever i sign in.
lol....lol....n to my surprise ....today ,after so many days, when i logged on to my original a/c , not many ppl responded to me . i ws annoyed like nethg. now, wht the hell do i want.

i chat with my college frenz nt coz they r my frenz ...but jz coz they r my batchmates n i wanna be in touch with everyone ( coz i enjoy being popular).

but thts jz one side of the coin. on the other hand, in the virtual world...i talk to ppl coz i love them. with them i m always natural. i always behave , talk n say thgs tht i want to . i love them prolly coz i dont hv to impress them . they can serve no purpose to me ...but can always listen to me . thr r no cmmitments and no liabilities.

is it coz i m damn insecure abt thgs . why i dont love thgs tht r jz fr me. why m i nt happy with the ppl who r mine. why m i always running after things tht r GENERALLY considered good. cant i create my own niche. y is it always so important to me to be a part of this rat race?

do i suffer frm commitment phobia...??

am i getting addicted?